Jetlag

 Our return home has left all of us exhausted.  Dealing with a jetlagged two year old is part of the adoption process that I underestimated and it has proved to be our biggest challenge thus far.  We’ve struggled to get Eli on a normal sleep schedule and he’s been regularly waking up at 3:00 am for the day.  This means by naptime he is ready to go down for the count and turns into a bear when we wake him up.  His frustration with communication isn’t helping matters any.  Poor Eli went from having everyone around him speaking Chinese to only hearing my crazy version of it.  He’s dealt with so many changes and it is only to be expected that his ability to handle it all would waver.

Luckily for all of us, when Eli is not throwing a tantrum or crying we see his loving spirit and hear his wonderful belly laughter.  He loves his new brothers and follows them around constantly.  Liam and Rowan have been so patient in dealing with all of the challenges over these past few days—I’m not surprised though, because I knew they would be great big brothers.  It is fun to watch how he imitates them and I am looking forward to the day this carries over to the dinner table.

Beside the sleeping issues, eating has been our next biggest obstacle.  Eli is not interested in trying any new foods… unless it is a snack.  So far his diet consists of eggs, rice (sometimes), cashews and flavored toddler milk.  But to be honest, it is mostly eggs.  Hardboiled.  He eats multiple eggs for every meal of the day and is always asking for more.   It is pretty disgusting, actually.  Apparently it is not uncommon for newly adopted children to fixate on one comfort food item.  Mike and I keep trying to introduce new foods and today we had some success with bologna.  Still gross, but at least his whole plate of foot wasn’t white.

As we’ve worked our way through these difficult days, we’ve managed to have some fun too.  Today it was a living room dance party that provided many giggles.  I have attached a couple videos of us in this exhaustion induced silliness.  It is worth watching just to see Mike’s unique interpretation of “the sprinkler”.   Rowan has some pretty sweet moves too.

 

Home at last

We are home and happy in Hastings!

After a long trip that included several plane flights, security lines and customs hoops we arrived in Minneapolis around 11:00 on Saturday morning.  We were welcomed by Grandma and Grandpa Vesterby and two wonderful big brothers.  Liam and Rowan made welcome signs for their new little brother who was doing his best to take in and understand the whole experience.  Eli was such a trooper the entire trip and the trip home was no exception.

We had to wake up at 4:30 in the morning to make our 7:30 am flight in Beijing.  Eli was ready to take the big plane to America as we had been talking about it for a few days.  We were met at the Beijing airport by a few of Eli’s loving caregivers.  While Mike and I are incredibly grateful that our son was so well cared for and loved the past two years, it was emotional to have to go through the goodbyes again…for everyone.  The three women came bearing many gifts and supplies they thought we might need to help us care for Eli—over the counter meds, a nebulizer they’d purchased, boots, treats, Chinese lanterns and a HUGE teddy bear that had been Eli’s in the foster home.  We had to ditch some of it since we didn’t have room in our carry-ons, but we lugged the enormous bear through every checkpoint between Beijing and Minneapolis and received many wild looks and a few comments about it along the way.  Both his tears and his mom’s were dry by the time we boarded our longest flight, thirteen hours from Beijing to Chicago.

Eli slept about half of this flight; Mike and I didn’t sleep at all.  In light of this, it was a small miracle that we survived with no major meltdowns from any of us.  Our flight was late arriving to Chicago and we were faced with a challenge in making our connecting flight to Minneapolis.  The customs line.   At this point in the journey, Mike and I were both convinced that we were not going to make our flight and had surrendered to the fact that we’d have another hurdle to overcome before arriving home.  However, with the help of a few speedy processers and airline workers who were evidently influenced by our bedraggled state, we ran to our gate as they were boarding the plane.  Mike and I sighed with relief as we sat among the plane load full of Bears fans.

When we finally made it home to Hastings we enjoyed a lot of laughter and smiles as we all watched Eli explore his new home.  He was so excited about all of the trucks and cars that he fought through his need to sleep in order to play.  Grandma made a great meal for us and he wouldn’t hardly take time to look at it because he didn’t want to leave the toys.  This morning we were welcomed backed to Minnesota with this amazing snow fall and we’ve had a great but tired day of nesting as a family.  We haven’t yet convinced Eli to put on winter gear and brave the snow, but it’s early yet.  We are so glad to be home.

Thanks to everyone for all the well wishes and we’ll post a few more entries and video as we settle in to “normal” life.  And thanks to my great mom for posting all of our writing and pictures while we were in China. 

we are in Beijing and ready to come home. Most everyone else that we met through the adoption process has also started the long voyage home so we were getting antsy. Luckily, Guanghzou gave us a nice surprise with sun, actual sun not just lighter smog as in Jinan on our last day. It was a great day and I did not care about all the looks I got for wearing shorts and a t-shirt even as many residents still wore their jackets because it was "only" 65 degrees.

We are looking forward to bringing Eli home. He keeps asking when he is going to America and we have to tell him "Dun Dun" or be patient. Currently, Beijing is in a bit of a cold snap so this is helping us adjust to what we can expect in Minnesota.

One thing I never adjusted to was the constant optimism of everyone we met. I have never met a group of people so happy and without complaints. At times it became funny as the time a tour guide told another group of Americans that China had no slums as we drove past some obvious examples. It seems that there is never anything wrong or worth complaining about here. I know we all know American society is full of complainers, just watch a broadcast of Channel 5 news and they can always find a disgruntled Minnesotan to complain about something. Here in China, everything has a positive and never a negative. Even the homeless are infected with this optimism. In an article I read one homeless man was quoted as listing the benefits of living outdoors (healthy air, not a lot of possessions to worry about).

I think this is in part because they might be worried about saying anything bad about their society or government. In every news article I read or watched, they almost always ended with some "expert" either from the government or the university saying it, whatever it was whether it was pollution or car emissions or homelessness, was getting better over "the last couple of years". Of course, not that there was any counterpoint allowed or data to back this up. And censors were watching to make sure only the positive message was heard. I was watching CNN International and its program was occassionally blocked if the story owuld make China look bad.

That's because they are trying to prove themselves to Europe and North America. Most of the articles I read were about the expansion of China's power and influence in Asia. While that might be true, all of the articles expressed positive reviews of this without allowing any outside discussion of any alternative viewpoint. This too became comical as this competition with outside forces is permeating Chinese culture includine passive aggressive messages. One of the top television programs of the last few years was called "Sun in the East, Rain in the West." Also, on our flight to Guanghzou, I watched a huge concert event which has been rebroadcasted a couple of times since. One singer who must be the Taylor Swift of China since I've seen her on commercials all over the place had the crowd (young males and females) singing along while many wept. Her song, loosely translated had this as the chorus; When you have good fortune, you bring your country good luck, if you have bad fortune, you hurt your country. As I continued to read her lyrics, she was using fortune to decribe people's actions. In other words, don't do something that makes your country look bad.

There was one person that had the courage to be frank with me. Most everyone kept the answers pleasant and sunny, not that I had intense political discources with everyone I met. Still, it was like China's on prozac and nothing bad happens.

Still, I have enjoyed my experience here. I've tried many new foods that I don't think I would have tried without this trip. I also got to see a part of the world that I NEVER thought I would visit. The Chinese are incredibly helpful in part because they don't want to let you down and have something bad happen. There was always someone that could assist even with mangled English and I never felt intimidated to explore on my own. Sure, people took lots of pictures of me but I never felt threatened or in danger. And we gota pretty cool addition to the family. I'd say this trip was a success by any standards.

See you again in America,

Mike, Jodi & Eli 

it's been a whilrwind 24 hours for Eli. First, we got to take a cruise along the Pearl River. He really enjoyed watching the other boats on the river with us. It wasn't too windy or cold that evening and the rain held off long enough for us and the other adoptive families that we have met to enjoy our last full evening together since once the consulate appointment is over, you are free to leave the country.

Eli was so wired from the boat trip and subsequent bus ride, he didn't settle down for bed until 9:30. This made for a grouchy morning as we had to get up early for an appointment at the U.S Consulate office here. This is the last step necessary before we can bring Eli home to Hastings. Here, the U.S. government double-checks the paperwork to make sure that we have the right child and then he is issued a Chinese passport for travel abroad. If everything checks out at this meeting, then Eli is considered a U.S. citizen and is given a social security number.

When we arrived we were marshalled through a series of checkpoints courtesy of the Chinese government (not wanting to waste this last opportunity to make things complicated I guess) and then brought onto legal U.S. soil. There were probably about a dozen adoptive families that were in a small room who had the same 9 a.m. appointment time. Promptly at 9, a gentleman appeared to make an announcement about what was going to happen. Families were called up individually to submit all of the required documentation for final approval at this point.

Our turn and first the secretary had to match Eli to the face on the Chinese visa and temporary in-country travel passport. A slight error on my part since I had put his American name as Elijah John on all of the documents instead of Elijah John Shelhamer. So I had to make a couple of quick corrections. The Chinese like everything to be word for word on each document. Then a couple more stamps on paper as appears to be standard in this country and we were granted approval to bring him home.

In other words, Eli is now officially ours and by virtue of his adoptive mother and father a citizen of the U.S. He will get paperwork saying as much along with his social security number within 30 days of today.

He was such a trooper throughout this entire process and not just today. I think he sensed the anxiety and in addition to his late bedtime last night crashed on the ride home. We and the other family from our agency that had the same appointment time as us today felt a huge sense of relief once everything was official and were punch-drunk on the ride back to the hotel.

Tomorrow is our last full day in Goungzhou as we have to wait 24 hours to pick up his China passport with visa. We have lots to do to get ready for our trip home. I got a jumpstart on that process by getting a trim at a local barbershop (I was looking a little haggard). One of our guides took me to a local shop for the "Chinese style haircut" as he called it. He negotiated the price for me (equivalent of $2 U.S. dollars) and then told her what I wanted done. She replied and during this exchange my guide leaned to me and said "She speaks Cantonese so I don't understand what she say." Oh great. Next I sat down and sitting in the chair I was taller than my barber. This caused much giggling and at one point a fellow barber tried to bring over a step stool for her but she chased him away. I said in English that I wanted it short and to trim my sideburns. I even referenced Joe Mauer but she must not be a baseball fan as she proceeded to shave them off. After buzzing my back and sides, she took out a pair of rusty sissors (can you get salmonella in your hair?) and proceeded to trip my top. It actually turned out good and for the price it looks fine to me.

Mike

Jodi and Eli

From Jodi:  Despite the continuing rain in Guangzhou, we have managed to get out and about in the city. This morning Eli, Mike and I explored the local fish market. It was clear that this wasn't a common destination for tourists, because we got many crazy looks and a lot of pointing and laughing. They were probably disgusted by our choice of shoes for the experience. Most of the people working there were wearing some sort of rain boot and this was the wise choice as we found ourselves trudging through puddles of fishy smelling water. Eli was wide-eyed the whole time and his father was equally excited. Mike is now very motivated to find a local seafood restaurant so we can try some of the interesting options.

Tonight we enjoyed a dinner cruise down the Pearl River. The views were great and it was fun to hang out with some of the other adoptive families that we've met up with here in Guangzhou. Eli loved riding on the boat and has now learned two more words in English--boat and fish. Liam and Rowan will be glad about this as it seems we will have another fisherman to add to the Shelhamer clan. The food on the cruise was less than great, but Mike managed to score a hot item on the Chinese menu...the chicken head. Because I told him that this was a much loved food item that couldn't go to waste, Mike did attempt to try the head. I say attempt because he wasn't quite sure what part of the head to go about eathing. He was reluctant to put the beak part in his mouth, so he went for the cheek instead. There was not actual biting done, as was also the case with the chicken foot earlier. He did put it in his mouth though and had a taste. I think Liam and Rowan will have to be the judge as to whether or not htis counts as "eating" a chicken head. 

Video: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

Video

From Mike:  another enjoyable experience in Guanghzou. Yesterday due to the rain all events were cancelled and we had the day to ourselves. This would have been bad if the weather hadn't lifted around 10 a.m. and the rest of the day was nice even as everything was wet. We were able to get out and walk around the island where our hotel is located. We went into a number of shops are started to look for gift ideas for certain family members who shall remain nameless. There is the usual assortment of poorly made tourist gifts but if you look hard enough you can find some really cool, unique gift ideas.

Sunday is apparently exercise day as we came upon groups of elderly people doing a wide variety of games. There were groups of 4 to 5 playing hackey sack, others were dancing to a makeshift karaoke band (the singing was awful and really hard to listen to), others walking, and then the random old person walking around doing arm circles or air push ups. I even watched two people swim in the Pearl River. One guy in particular kept swimming out into the current while doing the breat stroke. When he wanted a break he would get out of the current. This is a port town and you can imagine the pollution in the river even though China does it's best to keep things clean. When I saw the guy spit out the water I did gag a bit.

During this time, groups of youngish students kept coming up to me wanting to talk in English. I figured that it was that to them I looked exotic or whatever so they wanted to speak to "the American" tourist. I mean, I have lost 5 pounds since I've been in China. Turns out I was wrong and my ego was deflated. Jodi got the story from one of the many groups that approached us that day. They were University students taking English and their assignment was to come to the island and practice converstional language. Every time we were stopped, and it was often, someone would pull out a little book and have a number of questions already written down. Then they took video or a picture of the exchange as proof.

That evening, to soothe my bruised ego, Jodi took us to a restaurant that is well known for inexpensive but authentic food. The restaurant, loosely translated to "North East People" served the cuisine most commonly found in Jinan. The servers spoke no English but the menu has each item pictured and Jodi's limited Chinese was enough. to make sure we got what we wanted. And the food was great. Even Eli got into it eating his own Giaozi (Steamed bread dumpling). He ate over 3/4 of it which was the same size as a hamburger at most American restaurants. And that is not all that he ate; he also consumed two smaller pork dumplings. We also had greens wrapped with tofu skin served with a spciy meat sauce, our own order of pork dumplings, and sweet potatoes served in a mountain with melted sugar. You had to eat that one quick before the sugar hardened making it diffult to get the pieces of sweet potato apart. By far, the best meal I have had since being in China that was not street food.

Tonight we are going out for authentic Cantonese food. I have no idea what that is but I am excited to try it.

Good-bye Jinan

From Jodi:  We woke up in Guangzhou today, extremely happy to be on the last half of our trip.  We were exhausted from our trip here, but we had to be up and ready to leave by 9:00 for our doctor visit.  This was quite an experience.  Eli was pretty excited to ride in the large bus we took to get to the hospital, since he loves riding in any type of moving vehicle.  This was where his enjoyment ended though.  He did not like the doctor visit and spent the majority of it curled up in my arms with his thumb in his mouth.  He did, however, take his thumb out of his mouth in order to take a swing at the nurses who were trying to get his height and weight.  This little dude is one fiesty pistol.  We managed to help him through all of the necessary steps, including a shot that he was none to happy with...except for the M & Ms that followed it.  Eli most certainly clings to me in unfamiliar situations...which has been most situations as of now, but his attachment to his dad is growing each today.  Mike was the only one to get smiles out of him at the doctor visit.  In fact, it was more than smiles.  After his last step of the doctor visit, Mike and Eli got into one of our regular tickle wars.  It starts with "One, two, shwee..." and then tickling.  The belly laughs that were coming out of our room attracted the attention of several waiting adoptive families as well as several nurses who had to peek there head in to see what was going on.  I'm sure a few of them were thinking "Is this the same prize fighter that was in our room fifteen minutes ago?"

This afternoon the three of us went for a walk around our hotel and explored the area a bit.  Eli was as curious as ever as he took in all the new sights.  Since we were without a nap today, we decided to eat early so we could head back to our room for an early bedtime.  The low key night has been one of my favorites so far.  Mike and Eli both sat in bed and watched Sponge Bob Square Pants in Chinese while eating a bag of shrimp puffs.  Eli was in charge of the bag and would give the puffs to Mike only when he had checked to make sure the first one was gone--something his mom has had to do with him over the past few days.  I enjoyed watching the two of them and there boy bonding as much as anything we've done so far. 

Eli will fit into Shelhamer movie nights just perfectly!

From Mike:  We have made it to Goungzhou.  What a difference a couple of hours south makes.  Here the flowers are still in bloom and the environment is full of healthy and unpainted trees.  Even the pace is different.  The drivers use their turn signals and there is far less horn beeping.  It's like the citizens know they are living in a weather paradise compared to many of their fellow citizens, like a California to the U.S. I guess.  In fact, the van from the airport had the air conditioner on.  The drivers in Jinan all had their heaters blasting because everyone in Jinan was freezing but it had the affect of creating moving saunas for all the passengers.  Frankly, it feels great to get out of a car not dripping with sweat.

It was nice to leave Jinan.  Each morning we were awakened by a weird alarm clock.  About 5:30 a.m. there began some yelling outside along the canal below the hotel.  Depending upon who you asked, it was either someone that was cheering the start of a new day or someone that was yelling away the "bad spirits".  Whatever the reason, it was certainly different to have a human alarm clock that I was never able to turn off and that included the snooze button since about every ten minutes someone else would begin the yelling.

Eli had his first plane trip today.  He asked Jodi if we were going to America so someone must have prepped him during his time in foster care.  He did great and even created a funny story with the security personnel.  After checking the boarding pass, everyone steps on a platform and a security agent, usually a very young person waves a wand that looks like the kind you would use to make bubbles in the backyard.  They put the wand on your body and move it around.  Eli was having none of that and actually took a swing at the security agent checking us.  It was apparent from her reaction that this was not a common reaction and she didn't know how to proceed.  She called over an equally young agent to try to hold Eli up while she completed her security sweep.  By the anxious look on his face and the unhidden laughter of his superiors, this young man was obviously out of his element and kept his eyes on Eli as he had to dodge frequent swats from our annoyed child.

The plane was delayed numerous times but we packed plenty of snacks and had ample space to run him tired.  Now we are trying to calm him down for bedtime because we begin the process of trying to get him admitted to the U.S. first thing tomorrow. 

From Jodi:  Last night Mike and I attempted to go out for dinner and enjoy one of my favorite Chinese meals--hot pot.  Accomplishing this with a two year old we don't always understand made it quite the challenge.  There was one person in the restaurant who spoke English, but unfortunately his English was about as good as my Chinese.  Not very.  So between the two of us and our poor second language skills, we were able to manage the process of ordering.  Now hot pot is a meal that you are supposed to eat over a long period of time, with drinks and conversation and lots of rounds of different meats and veggies to throw in the boiling pot of spicy soup.  We knew our meal would be abbreviated due to the company of a toddler, but we were okay with that.  With the help of some toys we'd packed in his backpack and the magic peez dispenser that seems to distract him for short periods of time, we were able to tag team our meal so that we both could eat.  I don't know if I could say that we experienced hot pot the way it is intended, but we tried and wemade it out of the restaurant without a major scene.

Tonight we decided that we would avoid the stress of a restaurant by purchasing street food.  The three of us wandered around until we soon found ourselves on a street that had a variety of very cheap (and probably sketchy) food choices.  For a total of $2.75 we had purchased our meal for the night.  Spicy noodles to-go (which meant they gave them to us in a plastic bag), lotus root, fried onion bread, pickled cabbage, an unidentifiable pastry and THE CHICKEN FOOT.  We brought all of this food back to our room and had ourselves a little carpet picnic--this was a lot more relaxed than our previous dining experience.  The chicken foot provided us all with some good laughs.  Since I had already tried this Chinese favorite ten years ago, I did not feel the need eat another.  Liam and Rowan, I can't say that your dad actually ate the foot...but he did put it in his mouth to taste it.  You can see by the pictures how much he enjoyed it.  If you look closely at the pictures, you can see that the foot still had claws! 

Tomorrow we will fly to Guangzhou and will move to the second phase of our China journey. We have had many good memories in Jinan, but I think it is safe to say that Mike and I are both ready to leave. Living out of a hotel room with a two year old that we can't easily communicate with has worn us both down. And while Eli has been a trooper throughout the week, he is worn down too.  I hope we all have a good night's sleep tonight so we're in good spirits for tomorrow's plane ride.  We may need your prayers.  :)

From Jodi: For the past day and a half we have been able to enjoy our time in Jinan without rushing around. Yesterday we walked around the springs near the city center and Eli was content to be carried around by Mike and I as we strolled along the water. Later we went to WALMART...yup, Chinese Walmart. I couldn't believe it. Jinan has changed so much since I lived here ten years ago. I have had a difficult time recognizing places I once knew quite well. Now you can find a Pizza Hut in almost any part of the city and I saw a Starbucks during our taxi ride today. Crazy. Eli seems to enjoy taking in all the sights as well. Every time we are in a taxi, his eyes are glued out the window. He likes to point out everything he sees, which is mostly cars and busses. He is a very curious little boy and is now starting to ask what things are in English. He also loves to mimic what is dad is saying. I smile every time they are in the bathroom because Eli sounds like a little parrot sitting on the toilet copying everything Mike says--and he has know idea what most of it means. He has already mastered a few words though including okay, uh-oh, car, hello, bye-bye, banana (another favorite food) and, of course, Mickey Mouse...which he pronounces Mickey Mousey. Who would have thought that my best itunes purchase ever would be a few episodes of the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse cartoons. Eli LOVES it and it has become a routine to watch before both nap and bedtime. When it is over he says "Bye-bye Mickey Mousey" and is ready for sleep. This is good because I am always ready for sleep too. This trip has been so full of great experiences with our new son, but it has also been completely exhausting. Sure, the jetlag is part of it. But there are many other contributing factors as well. Take my dear husband and his snoring for example. With each day we spend in the smog-filled air of China, his snoring and his coughing gets louder and louder. Between his snoring and the gymnastics routine Eli seems to be performing each night during his sleep, I have yet to get a good night's rest. :) It has also been mentally tiring trying to communicate in Chinese, both with Eli and with people we encounter on the streets and in stores. Most times I love trying to interpret for Mike and Eli, but it hard to keep up with the back and forth. Today, while we were out shopping, I actually answered Mike in Chinese. I am loosing it for sure. And the last factor is the lack of food. This is not because I don't like Chinese food...I love Chinese food. However, I am currently some kind of weight loss plan called the Eli diet. He demands to eat his meals in my lap (which I do love, really) and little time is left for me to eat my own food. Between this and the fact that he wants me to carry him everywhere, I should be in great shape by the time we return to the U.S.

From Mike: We are doing our best to bond with Eli even as his schedule is difficult to maintain. At his foster home, he would be put down for almost 3 hours each day for nap. Thus far, we have only been able to put him down for about 1 1/2 hours. He also was potty trained but right now he will pee in his pull ups and only tell us, actually just me when he needs to go poop. In China, kids wear clothing that is split at the seam where the legs meet. That way, the child can just squat wherever he or she is and go to the bathroom. For the obvious yuck factor and also since this is not something that people do in the U.S. it is not a behavior we are continuing so he has not gotten used to asking to go pee yet. He also is a fitful sleeper. We have tried to keep his bedtime consistent but he talks in his sleep, just like a certain 4th grader that I know, and doesn't seem to be getting that good REM sleep. That is why at nighttime he tends to get a bit squirrelly, somethings giggling over the silliest things like shouting his new favorite t.v. program in English "Mickey Mouse" or sometimes he cries when he wants something, usually food, that we say he can't have. I am looking forward to being able to establish a consistent schedule once we get home so that everyone will be able to see his outgoing personality like we do throughout the entire day and not just in bits and pieces. It is wintertime in Jinan and the Chinese take this time of year seriously. I know us in Minnesota spend a tremendous amount of time talking about the weather; rain totals, snow amounts, soil temperature, etc but the Chinese are obsessed with this time of year. Not like a certain 2nd grader I know that has to watch the forecast on t.v. each day before school type of obsession but they fear this season. To me, it isn't that cold compared to what we experience but to everyone we meet, this weather is freezing. As I look out the hotel window there are still trees and bushes with leaves on it and water puddled on the sidewalk is not freezing. The Chinese try to protect their trees by painting the first four to six week of the trunk. They paint it white to attract sunlight supposedly but the smog keeps that from happening often. To the Chinese, it is time to hunker down into multiple layers, especially if you are a child. They dress their children up in so many layers that they look like the offspring of the Michelin man. We don't and have been paying for it ever since. When we put Eli into the baby carrier, women will come by and start tugging on his pants legs if there is any exposed skin visible. And that includes women that we don't know. More than one woman has suggested to us that we need to put Eli into more than one pair of pants because "it is so cold". They are very concerned that he is not wearing gloves even though we have tried but he doesn't want them because he cannot carry around his matchbox cars with them on. While Eli slept and Jodi rested I ventured out to a section of town nearby that had rows of street food vendors selling a variety of products. As you can imagine, there are not too many Americans here and we are celebrities of sorts. Can you imagine the stares I received when I was by myself in a non-tourist part of town? They don't want to be disrespectful and come right up to you. Instead the Chinese will slowly turn their heads to stare and if you catch them they will continue their gaze as if they were intending to look at something else and were just pausing to look at you. They also take pictures of us but again often they will wait until we have passed or get a side view. Luckily I was working out frequently before China because there are quite a few people with pictures of my behind in this city. At the market people would start to smile and giggle when I approached their food stand. I brought along a guidebook to help me with numbers and the rest we were able to communicate through gestures. It seemed to be a source of pride that the tall American was at their stand buying something. And I would like to stress the "something" there because often I did not know what I was buying. I just used my sense of smell and which vendors had longer lines to determine what was popular. At the stands, the vendor became impressed when I did not shy away from things that to our eyes would be unusual. One vendor in particular could not believe I was buying what looked like wingless cicadas on a stick that are fried, smoked and spiced. Once I bought the food, the novelty of my visit became an object of hilarity as I began to sweat due to the amount of spice included on the food items. I tried to use my fingers to say little but apparently they interpreted that to mean the thickness of the spice layer on the food. Then I became the unique sweaty American with a large pod of giggling young Chinese following behind me.

Jodi, Mike and Eli

Paperwork

Since Mike and I seem to have different times where we can't sleep, our blog posts are going to continue to come in random bits and pieces. Day two in Jinan was an interesting combination of wonderful and horrible. The wonderful part was all of the positive interaction we were able to have with Eli...the horrible part was a grueling process of completing Chinese paperwork. From 7:45-3:00 Mike, Eli and I along with another family adopting, were shuffled from office to office to sign documents, take pictures, and pay money. All of this was completed with a typical Chinese flair of hurry, hurry, hurry...now we must wait here because this man is a "little busy." It was fun to watch Mike take in the way things get done in this country. Since I was on entertain Eli duty, this left him to complete all the forms as he was pushed from one place to another. It is a good thing Rita, our adoption guide here in Jinan, is so nice because I'm not sure Mike would have kept his patience as long as he did without her. We were lucky we packed snacks and extra clothes for Eli because both were needed. Apparently we didn't even have time to stop for lunch, so Eli snacked on rice crackers, hard boiled eggs (compliments of his foster moms who said they were one of his favorites) and M&Ms. Our schedule also meant that Eli didn't get his normal nap, which according to his foster moms is typically three hours. All of this considered, our group did extremely well. With three hungry, impatient American adults, one frazzled Chinese guide, one eight year old big sister who was along for the ride and two Chinese toddlers...it was amazing that there wasn't at least one melt down. Since we got all of this paperwork done today, the next few days are free of appointments and paperwork. We are very much looking forward to just hanging out and enjoying time with our son in Jinan.

From Mike: It is great to see Eli develop a bond with his mother. He looks at her and smiles. I even saw him give her a kiss on his own. And his mother can't stop smiling, and holding her son. This is great news especially after the traumatic first night. According to the literature, the bond between child and caregiver is critical for any healthy adoption. I am very optimistic that we are on the right path watching the two of them interact. Of course, those same books also said that it usually is between new dad and new child. Usually the adoptive child will reject the mother as a response to being abandoned by a previous female caregiver especially if that bond has been positive. When his entourage of caregivers arrived to hand him over fussing over him I admit I was concerned this might be the case. Instead we think that he only knows female caregivesr and was drawn to Jodi. I'm fine with that since he is at least bonding. My role is more like a personal assistant. I am his gopher, diaper and clothes changer, and waiter and I'm fine with that. I typical sentence is "Baba (dad) get me/give me a ______". Then the fun begins as I try with my limited Chinese to decipher that last part. Sometimes I get it right and I get a "ShuiShui baba (thank you dad)". More often I get a growl, a furrowed brow and the sentence repeated with an empahsis on the object as I have brought over the wrong toy or food item. Usually Jodi just giggles. Again I'm fine with this since he is developing an attachment to one of us. Later on, back home if this continues we are going to have a chat about not being so bossy. I am man enough to admit when I have been conquered. I am defeated, I quit, I lose, I give up. I have been beaten by the Chinese toilet. Actually, I am usually beaten by the whole bathroom experience with Eli. It begins with some translation time loss for his words for potty. Unlike some kids that grab certain parts or do that little crab walk as a visual cue, Eli will just say "Laushi" for poop or "neenee" for pee. Of course, we only arrive at this after a few minutes of question and answer from Jodi since he never strings it into an "I have to go to the bathroom" kind of a sentence. This means by the time I start looking for the toilet, we have already lost valuable time since kids don't say "well, I feel a poop coming so I'm taking these magazines into the bathroom. See you in 20 minutes." like some adults do. That isn't the worst part. What happens next is what is beating me. There is a dizzying amount of different commodes in this country. I feel like I'm entering a twisted game show of Decipher the Toilet when we get in the room. There are the standard urinals you will find in any U.S. stadium or the usual toilets but never both in the same place. Unfortunately, they don't have these in kids sizes and Eli if he is to have a chance must be held up for either of these to be effective. Then there are toilets that are long rectangles and rest almost on the floor with no seat cover. Finally, there is the hole in the floor, literally. In these stalls, there are no handrails and the porcelain part is too wide for a kid to straddle. By the time I have set upon a plan of attack based upon the bathroom design, it is usually too late. When I have lost, the look on Eli's face is priceless. His eyes say "get it together". He usually mutters something in Chinese. Since I have limited language skills I am not certain but loosely translated I think he is saying "Dude, you have to figure out what to do in the bathroom. I can't keep peeing on my pants. I'm gonna run out of clothes." At one point, in desperation, I had him stand on the counter and pee into a sink. This was in full view of the hallway as the door to the bathroom was taken down for some reason. I looked across to the women's room, also without a door and saw two older ladies watching us and giggling. Then a gentleman came in, stopped dead in his tracks after seeing us, and walked back out slowly never taking his eyes off us. I looked at him smiling trying to think what the Chinese equivalent to "I will wash the sink when he is done" but wasn't able to get the words out before he was gone.

Jinan

Eli eating soup

Mopeds

Tired little boy!

Monday, November 26

From Mike: what a difference a day makes. When Eli woke up this morning we were braced for the worst. Instead we got a suprise; when he opened his eyes Eli was looking right at me and I started to say "hello" with a foolish looking grin on my face. He looked at me and started to repeat the word, his first word in English grinning from ear to ear. Jodi came running out of the bathroom to join in the fun and the three of us kept repeating hello to each other. Since he seemed to be in better spirits we tried to introduce him to a shower since he was so sweaty from the night but he was having none of that. We opted for a washcloth bath as an alternative. Then he started to say "Laushi" which means bathroom and we got our second surprise of the morning, he's already potty trained, mostly that is. After dressing we went to the cafeteria for breakfast and he devoured a plate of sausage, fried bread in the shape of a happy face, and hard boiled egg. It was great watching him eat on his mom's lap. Speaking of her, the amount of Chinese that she can recall has been a tremendous asset. It has made this transition more successful since she can ask him things and translate what he needs or wants. This really helps keep the stress low. Not that it's necessarily been high for him. There were a dizzying number of offices and forms to complete and everything needed to have stamps on them for some reason. He played with his matchbox cars almost the entire day and rarely left his mother. In fact, he must have reached for her about a half-dozen times by my count. He even gave his first kiss to her without being asked to. After the initial reaction to the separation, it has been almost indescribable the difference with him. Throughout all the offices and stops to complete more paperwork and pictures he had to take he was smiling and moving. The one exception was the fingerprinting office. He didn't like that and had his first tearless crying incident. I have been absorbing as much of the culture as I can while completing the adoption process. I wanted to tell you about transportation in China. It is really hard to explain but I will try my best. The lines on the street appear to be suggestions only as the cars zigzag about constantly. Also apparently not necessary are turn signals. At one point I noticed a car with the right blinker on taking a left handed turn. Speaking of the cars, the most visible brands are Asian manufacturers (Kia & Hyundai from South Korea and Honda & Toyota from Japan). There must be a Chinese manufacturer as the decal is not something I recognize. Most "foreign" cars are European; Peugeot, VW, BMW, and the occasinal Audi. The most common American brand are Chevrolets and Buicks. I have yet to see a Ford. That includes the trucks. There are no Silverados, F Series, or Dodge Rams. There is a "truck" but it is hardly what I would call full-sized. It is narrow and it's tires are no bigger than those on my riding lawn tractor and based upon how frequently we passed them their engine must be a 4 cylinder. Not that people use only trucks for hauling. One popular transporation tool for work is a 3 wheeled motorcycle that has a truck bed attached. They are often laden with water bottles, produce, and cardboard for recycling at least 6 feet high. Due to the traffic and expense, many Chinese choose alternate forms of transporation. There are city busses and they are packed to the gills with people. I don't know how anyone gets out at a stop. Another cheap form of transporation is the moped. They are probably more common that the bicycle based upon my unsceintific observation. And they are often tricked out with gloves on the handlebars and wild colors. One I saw had an extended seat and a family of four was riding, without helmets I might add. What is most interesting is that bikes and mopeds can be on the streets or sidewalk, no bike only lanes in this country. With all the swerving and mopeds, bicyclists, and foot traffic I was surprised that we made it through out day unscathed. There were some close calls with other merging cars and the people on two wheels or foot that ignore traffice signals. However, I suppose the slow speed keeps these to a minimum; our top speed wa a whopping 55 kilometers per hour which is just barely above 30 mph. This was apparently quite fast as we were often passing people because our guide said we were in a hurry!

Grandma is trying her best to get these uploaded to the blog. 

From Jodi: It is 3:30 am here and I can't sleep. Jetlag adds an interesting twist to the chaos of emotions we've experienced so far. After waking up and crying himself to sleep several times from 6-9 last night, Eli randomly woke up in a different spirit. We had been unable to console him up until this point, but he decided he wanted to play and that was it. He said in Chinese "I want that" which turned into a fun game of Mike trying to guess what it was that he wanted. I have never been so glad to speak a little Chinese so I could "translate" what he was saying and giggling to Mike! Before we knew it, he was on my lap in bed with all the snacks in bed with us and all the toys too. We thought he would eat since he hadn't all day, but he seemed more interested in feeding his treats to us. He had some great belly laughs as Mike and I were being silly as he fed us. It was such huge relief to see a happy little boy when only a couple hours earlier he was grieving so intensely. I sure hope we see some more of that when he wakes up this morning. We spent the next hour digging through his little backpack as he looked at his new toys. It was cute watching him try and hold all the cars in his hands; he didn't want to put anything down. He took more pictures with his camera--a clear favorite. He took a picture of Mike and said "baba" and a picture of me and said "mama" and I'm pretty sure my heart melted right there. As he started to wind down, the eye rubbing began again. Before moods shifted, we broke out the ipad and watched an episode Mickey Mouse Club. He sat curled up between Mike and I with his eyes glued to the show--only glancing to each side once and awhile to make sure Mike and I were still awake. When it was over, we turned out the lights and he laid between us chattering to himself and holding his green toy car. I think I maybe fell asleep before he did, but when I woke up later, he was curled up next to me with his hand on my face. So sweet. As the night progressed, this switched to butt in my face and feet in my face--but even his restless sleep is fun to watch.

Written by Mike: Today was one of the most exhilirating and anxious days of our lives. When Eli John showed up at our door he was surrounded by his caregivers and had a big smile on his face. Everyone crammed into our small hotel room while Jodi and I tried to bond with him while signing forms and writing down notes given to us by his foster mothers. They all said he was strong and smart for his age and is usually shy. But, Jodi bribed him with chocolate and soon Eli was in her lap playing with toys and clowning around. He is very curious and enjoyed exploring his temporary home and all the toys and goodies stashed throughout the room. Eli really liked gobbling up the M&Ms while making growling noises and sharing with me. Next, he and his new mama and baba were playing with the water bottle making funny noises by tapping on the bottle when he had it up to his mouth. However, probably the most fun was the kiddie camera. Eli is a natural shutterbug and has mastered he art of point and shoot with this device. He also likes to look at what the pictures are after he has taken a few. He only stopped playing with this toy long enough to cram a few more treats into his mouth before taking more photos. One other toy he enjoyed looking at was the photo book we made and mailed to him. In it, we showed him pictures of the house and his room along with his two older brothers and the dog. He knew he was getting brothers and asked to see them in the book. He laughed when he saw a picture of Dixie but really laughed when he saw himself on the last page. Next it was family portrait time and passport photo. This wasn't as much fun and he had to be coaxed into it by his father who would suddenly lift him into the air making everyone giggle. He apparently doesn't like to walk since he kept reaching for both his new mom and dad which was lucky for us since he is a handful. One the way back, we stopped at a bush to shake some leaves off and feel them against our hands and giggle some more. Then the difficult part began. His caregivers had to leave and they and Eli had difficulty saying goodbye. It was obvious that they had established an attachment to the little guy since they kept coming into the room to say goodbye more than once. While we can't read his mind, nor speak his language fluently to know how to communicate with him, Eli is smart enough to know that something was going on and his smile turned to a frown. Not even food could stop him from crying. And cry he did. Eli was not happy that his foster mothers were leaving and continued to call out their name for some time. We traded him back and forth trying to soothe him and saying "I love you" in Chinese but nothing worked. While he did not inherit any biological traits from us, it was quickly apparent that he has a temper like his mom (yay for me) and when he didn't want a toy or snack waved in front of his face he would push it away and turn his head as if he was disgusted with whatever you held in your hand. What did finally stop his wailing was sleep. He had driven over 3 hours to Jinan from the foster home and was off his schedule. He had been rubbing his eyes since we first met each other so it was obvious he was tired. He fell asleep in his MaMa's arms; she lowered him into bed and his new parents took turns snuggling next to him.

So much to be thankful for

We have been BUSY getting everything in order before we leave for China. Passports have arrived, plane tickets are booked, and bags are starting to get packed. We fly out of Minneapolis the day after Thanksgiving and will arrive in Beijing on Sunday. Two weeks later we will be home with our son. Mike and I are glad we'll be able to celebrate Thanksgiving with Liam and Rowan before heading out. No turkey for us this year; instead,we are going to eat at our favorite authentic Chinese restaurant in St. Paul. Duck instead of turkey...it sounds like a scene out of "A Christmas Story". We will try to update this blog regularly. Since social networking sites (including blogs) are blocked in China, we will be emailing our updates to Grandma Peggy who will post them for us.