Jetlag

 Our return home has left all of us exhausted.  Dealing with a jetlagged two year old is part of the adoption process that I underestimated and it has proved to be our biggest challenge thus far.  We’ve struggled to get Eli on a normal sleep schedule and he’s been regularly waking up at 3:00 am for the day.  This means by naptime he is ready to go down for the count and turns into a bear when we wake him up.  His frustration with communication isn’t helping matters any.  Poor Eli went from having everyone around him speaking Chinese to only hearing my crazy version of it.  He’s dealt with so many changes and it is only to be expected that his ability to handle it all would waver.

Luckily for all of us, when Eli is not throwing a tantrum or crying we see his loving spirit and hear his wonderful belly laughter.  He loves his new brothers and follows them around constantly.  Liam and Rowan have been so patient in dealing with all of the challenges over these past few days—I’m not surprised though, because I knew they would be great big brothers.  It is fun to watch how he imitates them and I am looking forward to the day this carries over to the dinner table.

Beside the sleeping issues, eating has been our next biggest obstacle.  Eli is not interested in trying any new foods… unless it is a snack.  So far his diet consists of eggs, rice (sometimes), cashews and flavored toddler milk.  But to be honest, it is mostly eggs.  Hardboiled.  He eats multiple eggs for every meal of the day and is always asking for more.   It is pretty disgusting, actually.  Apparently it is not uncommon for newly adopted children to fixate on one comfort food item.  Mike and I keep trying to introduce new foods and today we had some success with bologna.  Still gross, but at least his whole plate of foot wasn’t white.

As we’ve worked our way through these difficult days, we’ve managed to have some fun too.  Today it was a living room dance party that provided many giggles.  I have attached a couple videos of us in this exhaustion induced silliness.  It is worth watching just to see Mike’s unique interpretation of “the sprinkler”.   Rowan has some pretty sweet moves too.

 

Home at last

We are home and happy in Hastings!

After a long trip that included several plane flights, security lines and customs hoops we arrived in Minneapolis around 11:00 on Saturday morning.  We were welcomed by Grandma and Grandpa Vesterby and two wonderful big brothers.  Liam and Rowan made welcome signs for their new little brother who was doing his best to take in and understand the whole experience.  Eli was such a trooper the entire trip and the trip home was no exception.

We had to wake up at 4:30 in the morning to make our 7:30 am flight in Beijing.  Eli was ready to take the big plane to America as we had been talking about it for a few days.  We were met at the Beijing airport by a few of Eli’s loving caregivers.  While Mike and I are incredibly grateful that our son was so well cared for and loved the past two years, it was emotional to have to go through the goodbyes again…for everyone.  The three women came bearing many gifts and supplies they thought we might need to help us care for Eli—over the counter meds, a nebulizer they’d purchased, boots, treats, Chinese lanterns and a HUGE teddy bear that had been Eli’s in the foster home.  We had to ditch some of it since we didn’t have room in our carry-ons, but we lugged the enormous bear through every checkpoint between Beijing and Minneapolis and received many wild looks and a few comments about it along the way.  Both his tears and his mom’s were dry by the time we boarded our longest flight, thirteen hours from Beijing to Chicago.

Eli slept about half of this flight; Mike and I didn’t sleep at all.  In light of this, it was a small miracle that we survived with no major meltdowns from any of us.  Our flight was late arriving to Chicago and we were faced with a challenge in making our connecting flight to Minneapolis.  The customs line.   At this point in the journey, Mike and I were both convinced that we were not going to make our flight and had surrendered to the fact that we’d have another hurdle to overcome before arriving home.  However, with the help of a few speedy processers and airline workers who were evidently influenced by our bedraggled state, we ran to our gate as they were boarding the plane.  Mike and I sighed with relief as we sat among the plane load full of Bears fans.

When we finally made it home to Hastings we enjoyed a lot of laughter and smiles as we all watched Eli explore his new home.  He was so excited about all of the trucks and cars that he fought through his need to sleep in order to play.  Grandma made a great meal for us and he wouldn’t hardly take time to look at it because he didn’t want to leave the toys.  This morning we were welcomed backed to Minnesota with this amazing snow fall and we’ve had a great but tired day of nesting as a family.  We haven’t yet convinced Eli to put on winter gear and brave the snow, but it’s early yet.  We are so glad to be home.

Thanks to everyone for all the well wishes and we’ll post a few more entries and video as we settle in to “normal” life.  And thanks to my great mom for posting all of our writing and pictures while we were in China. 

we are in Beijing and ready to come home. Most everyone else that we met through the adoption process has also started the long voyage home so we were getting antsy. Luckily, Guanghzou gave us a nice surprise with sun, actual sun not just lighter smog as in Jinan on our last day. It was a great day and I did not care about all the looks I got for wearing shorts and a t-shirt even as many residents still wore their jackets because it was "only" 65 degrees.

We are looking forward to bringing Eli home. He keeps asking when he is going to America and we have to tell him "Dun Dun" or be patient. Currently, Beijing is in a bit of a cold snap so this is helping us adjust to what we can expect in Minnesota.

One thing I never adjusted to was the constant optimism of everyone we met. I have never met a group of people so happy and without complaints. At times it became funny as the time a tour guide told another group of Americans that China had no slums as we drove past some obvious examples. It seems that there is never anything wrong or worth complaining about here. I know we all know American society is full of complainers, just watch a broadcast of Channel 5 news and they can always find a disgruntled Minnesotan to complain about something. Here in China, everything has a positive and never a negative. Even the homeless are infected with this optimism. In an article I read one homeless man was quoted as listing the benefits of living outdoors (healthy air, not a lot of possessions to worry about).

I think this is in part because they might be worried about saying anything bad about their society or government. In every news article I read or watched, they almost always ended with some "expert" either from the government or the university saying it, whatever it was whether it was pollution or car emissions or homelessness, was getting better over "the last couple of years". Of course, not that there was any counterpoint allowed or data to back this up. And censors were watching to make sure only the positive message was heard. I was watching CNN International and its program was occassionally blocked if the story owuld make China look bad.

That's because they are trying to prove themselves to Europe and North America. Most of the articles I read were about the expansion of China's power and influence in Asia. While that might be true, all of the articles expressed positive reviews of this without allowing any outside discussion of any alternative viewpoint. This too became comical as this competition with outside forces is permeating Chinese culture includine passive aggressive messages. One of the top television programs of the last few years was called "Sun in the East, Rain in the West." Also, on our flight to Guanghzou, I watched a huge concert event which has been rebroadcasted a couple of times since. One singer who must be the Taylor Swift of China since I've seen her on commercials all over the place had the crowd (young males and females) singing along while many wept. Her song, loosely translated had this as the chorus; When you have good fortune, you bring your country good luck, if you have bad fortune, you hurt your country. As I continued to read her lyrics, she was using fortune to decribe people's actions. In other words, don't do something that makes your country look bad.

There was one person that had the courage to be frank with me. Most everyone kept the answers pleasant and sunny, not that I had intense political discources with everyone I met. Still, it was like China's on prozac and nothing bad happens.

Still, I have enjoyed my experience here. I've tried many new foods that I don't think I would have tried without this trip. I also got to see a part of the world that I NEVER thought I would visit. The Chinese are incredibly helpful in part because they don't want to let you down and have something bad happen. There was always someone that could assist even with mangled English and I never felt intimidated to explore on my own. Sure, people took lots of pictures of me but I never felt threatened or in danger. And we gota pretty cool addition to the family. I'd say this trip was a success by any standards.

See you again in America,

Mike, Jodi & Eli 

it's been a whilrwind 24 hours for Eli. First, we got to take a cruise along the Pearl River. He really enjoyed watching the other boats on the river with us. It wasn't too windy or cold that evening and the rain held off long enough for us and the other adoptive families that we have met to enjoy our last full evening together since once the consulate appointment is over, you are free to leave the country.

Eli was so wired from the boat trip and subsequent bus ride, he didn't settle down for bed until 9:30. This made for a grouchy morning as we had to get up early for an appointment at the U.S Consulate office here. This is the last step necessary before we can bring Eli home to Hastings. Here, the U.S. government double-checks the paperwork to make sure that we have the right child and then he is issued a Chinese passport for travel abroad. If everything checks out at this meeting, then Eli is considered a U.S. citizen and is given a social security number.

When we arrived we were marshalled through a series of checkpoints courtesy of the Chinese government (not wanting to waste this last opportunity to make things complicated I guess) and then brought onto legal U.S. soil. There were probably about a dozen adoptive families that were in a small room who had the same 9 a.m. appointment time. Promptly at 9, a gentleman appeared to make an announcement about what was going to happen. Families were called up individually to submit all of the required documentation for final approval at this point.

Our turn and first the secretary had to match Eli to the face on the Chinese visa and temporary in-country travel passport. A slight error on my part since I had put his American name as Elijah John on all of the documents instead of Elijah John Shelhamer. So I had to make a couple of quick corrections. The Chinese like everything to be word for word on each document. Then a couple more stamps on paper as appears to be standard in this country and we were granted approval to bring him home.

In other words, Eli is now officially ours and by virtue of his adoptive mother and father a citizen of the U.S. He will get paperwork saying as much along with his social security number within 30 days of today.

He was such a trooper throughout this entire process and not just today. I think he sensed the anxiety and in addition to his late bedtime last night crashed on the ride home. We and the other family from our agency that had the same appointment time as us today felt a huge sense of relief once everything was official and were punch-drunk on the ride back to the hotel.

Tomorrow is our last full day in Goungzhou as we have to wait 24 hours to pick up his China passport with visa. We have lots to do to get ready for our trip home. I got a jumpstart on that process by getting a trim at a local barbershop (I was looking a little haggard). One of our guides took me to a local shop for the "Chinese style haircut" as he called it. He negotiated the price for me (equivalent of $2 U.S. dollars) and then told her what I wanted done. She replied and during this exchange my guide leaned to me and said "She speaks Cantonese so I don't understand what she say." Oh great. Next I sat down and sitting in the chair I was taller than my barber. This caused much giggling and at one point a fellow barber tried to bring over a step stool for her but she chased him away. I said in English that I wanted it short and to trim my sideburns. I even referenced Joe Mauer but she must not be a baseball fan as she proceeded to shave them off. After buzzing my back and sides, she took out a pair of rusty sissors (can you get salmonella in your hair?) and proceeded to trip my top. It actually turned out good and for the price it looks fine to me.

Mike

Jodi and Eli

From Jodi:  Despite the continuing rain in Guangzhou, we have managed to get out and about in the city. This morning Eli, Mike and I explored the local fish market. It was clear that this wasn't a common destination for tourists, because we got many crazy looks and a lot of pointing and laughing. They were probably disgusted by our choice of shoes for the experience. Most of the people working there were wearing some sort of rain boot and this was the wise choice as we found ourselves trudging through puddles of fishy smelling water. Eli was wide-eyed the whole time and his father was equally excited. Mike is now very motivated to find a local seafood restaurant so we can try some of the interesting options.

Tonight we enjoyed a dinner cruise down the Pearl River. The views were great and it was fun to hang out with some of the other adoptive families that we've met up with here in Guangzhou. Eli loved riding on the boat and has now learned two more words in English--boat and fish. Liam and Rowan will be glad about this as it seems we will have another fisherman to add to the Shelhamer clan. The food on the cruise was less than great, but Mike managed to score a hot item on the Chinese menu...the chicken head. Because I told him that this was a much loved food item that couldn't go to waste, Mike did attempt to try the head. I say attempt because he wasn't quite sure what part of the head to go about eathing. He was reluctant to put the beak part in his mouth, so he went for the cheek instead. There was not actual biting done, as was also the case with the chicken foot earlier. He did put it in his mouth though and had a taste. I think Liam and Rowan will have to be the judge as to whether or not htis counts as "eating" a chicken head. 

Video: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

Video

From Mike:  another enjoyable experience in Guanghzou. Yesterday due to the rain all events were cancelled and we had the day to ourselves. This would have been bad if the weather hadn't lifted around 10 a.m. and the rest of the day was nice even as everything was wet. We were able to get out and walk around the island where our hotel is located. We went into a number of shops are started to look for gift ideas for certain family members who shall remain nameless. There is the usual assortment of poorly made tourist gifts but if you look hard enough you can find some really cool, unique gift ideas.

Sunday is apparently exercise day as we came upon groups of elderly people doing a wide variety of games. There were groups of 4 to 5 playing hackey sack, others were dancing to a makeshift karaoke band (the singing was awful and really hard to listen to), others walking, and then the random old person walking around doing arm circles or air push ups. I even watched two people swim in the Pearl River. One guy in particular kept swimming out into the current while doing the breat stroke. When he wanted a break he would get out of the current. This is a port town and you can imagine the pollution in the river even though China does it's best to keep things clean. When I saw the guy spit out the water I did gag a bit.

During this time, groups of youngish students kept coming up to me wanting to talk in English. I figured that it was that to them I looked exotic or whatever so they wanted to speak to "the American" tourist. I mean, I have lost 5 pounds since I've been in China. Turns out I was wrong and my ego was deflated. Jodi got the story from one of the many groups that approached us that day. They were University students taking English and their assignment was to come to the island and practice converstional language. Every time we were stopped, and it was often, someone would pull out a little book and have a number of questions already written down. Then they took video or a picture of the exchange as proof.

That evening, to soothe my bruised ego, Jodi took us to a restaurant that is well known for inexpensive but authentic food. The restaurant, loosely translated to "North East People" served the cuisine most commonly found in Jinan. The servers spoke no English but the menu has each item pictured and Jodi's limited Chinese was enough. to make sure we got what we wanted. And the food was great. Even Eli got into it eating his own Giaozi (Steamed bread dumpling). He ate over 3/4 of it which was the same size as a hamburger at most American restaurants. And that is not all that he ate; he also consumed two smaller pork dumplings. We also had greens wrapped with tofu skin served with a spciy meat sauce, our own order of pork dumplings, and sweet potatoes served in a mountain with melted sugar. You had to eat that one quick before the sugar hardened making it diffult to get the pieces of sweet potato apart. By far, the best meal I have had since being in China that was not street food.

Tonight we are going out for authentic Cantonese food. I have no idea what that is but I am excited to try it.

Good-bye Jinan

From Jodi:  We woke up in Guangzhou today, extremely happy to be on the last half of our trip.  We were exhausted from our trip here, but we had to be up and ready to leave by 9:00 for our doctor visit.  This was quite an experience.  Eli was pretty excited to ride in the large bus we took to get to the hospital, since he loves riding in any type of moving vehicle.  This was where his enjoyment ended though.  He did not like the doctor visit and spent the majority of it curled up in my arms with his thumb in his mouth.  He did, however, take his thumb out of his mouth in order to take a swing at the nurses who were trying to get his height and weight.  This little dude is one fiesty pistol.  We managed to help him through all of the necessary steps, including a shot that he was none to happy with...except for the M & Ms that followed it.  Eli most certainly clings to me in unfamiliar situations...which has been most situations as of now, but his attachment to his dad is growing each today.  Mike was the only one to get smiles out of him at the doctor visit.  In fact, it was more than smiles.  After his last step of the doctor visit, Mike and Eli got into one of our regular tickle wars.  It starts with "One, two, shwee..." and then tickling.  The belly laughs that were coming out of our room attracted the attention of several waiting adoptive families as well as several nurses who had to peek there head in to see what was going on.  I'm sure a few of them were thinking "Is this the same prize fighter that was in our room fifteen minutes ago?"

This afternoon the three of us went for a walk around our hotel and explored the area a bit.  Eli was as curious as ever as he took in all the new sights.  Since we were without a nap today, we decided to eat early so we could head back to our room for an early bedtime.  The low key night has been one of my favorites so far.  Mike and Eli both sat in bed and watched Sponge Bob Square Pants in Chinese while eating a bag of shrimp puffs.  Eli was in charge of the bag and would give the puffs to Mike only when he had checked to make sure the first one was gone--something his mom has had to do with him over the past few days.  I enjoyed watching the two of them and there boy bonding as much as anything we've done so far. 

Eli will fit into Shelhamer movie nights just perfectly!